Here's a line we're certain we haven't written before: a second solid gold toilet — yes, actual sound money shaped like plumbing — is heading to auction after the first one was famously stolen.

In a financial era defined by fiat excess and central-bank hubris, nothing illustrates the absurd contrast between hard assets and paper wealth quite like this 18-karat masterpiece.

Italian conceptual artist Maurizio Cattelan created three fully functional golden toilets in 2016, according to the BBC. More than 100,000 people sat on the first one when it was installed at the Guggenheim. It later moved to Blenheim Palace, where thieves ripped out what the state valued at £4.8 million — a theft that showed the timeless rule: criminals prefer gold to currency. Several men were ultimately convicted for the 2019 heist.

BBC writes that the existence of a second version has been confirmed, and it will soon go under the hammer at Sotheby’s in New York. The auction house is presenting the work not merely as sculpture but as market commentary. They call it a “cultural phenomenon” and “an incisive commentary on the collision of artistic production and commodity value.”

David Galperin, Sotheby’s head of contemporary art, said: “America is Maurizio Cattelan’s tour de force. Holding both a proverbial and literal mirror to the art world, the work confronts the most uncomfortable questions about art, and the belief systems held sacred to the institutions of the market and the museum.”

But here’s the irony: the most powerful statement comes from the metal itself.

In a world first, the starting bid will be set not by curators or appraisers, but — for once — by real market pricing. Sotheby’s says the opening price will track the exact value of its gold content the moment bidding begins. If sold today, that would be about $10 million.

So while modern finance manufactures trillions out of keystrokes, this toilet — weighing over 100 kg of 18-karat bullion — remains what it has always been: an immutable store of value. Whether displayed in a gallery or locked in a vault, gold does not need an artist’s statement to justify its worth.

Even when you can sit on it, and sh*t in it.