为你的朋友加油

为你的朋友加油
Root for your friends

原始链接: https://josephthacker.com/personal/2025/05/13/root-for-your-friends.html

“为朋友加油”的核心是真心地庆祝他们的成功，摒弃嫉妒，理解生活中大部分事情并非零和博弈。这会产生一个积极的反馈循环，称为“炒作高手飞轮”，你的支持会增强他们，从而导致信息和机会的相互分享，最终使每个人都受益。识别“炒作高手”需要寻找那些提供诚实反馈、庆祝你的胜利、分享你的工作、促成有益的介绍并提供合作支持的人。要成为一名“炒作高手”，要迅速赞扬，提供建设性批评，拓展他们的视野，并放大他们的工作。虽然飞轮理想情况下是相互的，但即使你有点嫉妒，选择为他人感到高兴也会改善你自己的福祉。通过积极地为朋友加油，你可以培养更牢固的关系，并为自己和周围的人创造一个更有支持性和更丰富的环境。

The Hacker News thread discusses an article advocating for actively supporting friends, celebrating their wins, and avoiding jealousy. The initial commenter reflects on their own tendency to avoid sharing successes due to discomfort with praise. Several responses delve into the psychology of praise, with one commenter citing Kelly McGonigal's observations about the vulnerability inherent in receiving praise. Others share personal experiences of being both a "hype man" and feeling let down when support isn't reciprocated. Discussions extend to the complexities of competition in friendships, particularly in the workplace, and the importance of distinguishing between genuine friends and mere acquaintances. Some readers express cynicism, suggesting that true friendship is rare or that rooting for others is naive in a competitive environment. However, many highlight the positive impact of supporting others on both personal well-being and career advancement. The discussion also touches upon the potential for friendships to be built on shared negativity and the importance of honest feedback.

关于建立和维持友谊的书籍 2025-03-23

（评论） 2025-05-13

不要竞争 2025-03-22

（评论） 2023-11-23

原文

Heads‑up: The concept of this post might seem trivial, but it can improve your career, happiness, and the people you care about. Proceed without caution. It only takes about 10 minutes to read.

What is “Root For Your Friends”?

It’s getting excited for your friends when something good happens, and rejecting jealousy.

It’s deeply believing that a rising tide lifts all boats.

It’s understanding that most games in life aren’t zero‑sum; they’re wildly positive‑sum.

Outcomes: If you read this post, you will be more:

excited for your friends
generous with your praise and support
open to collaborating with others
likely to introduce your friends to people who can help them

Note: I call a friend who roots for you a hypeman or a hype friend.

The Hypeman Flywheel

The most underrated part of rooting for you friends is that it benefits everyone. A flywheel is a concept where each input creates a positive feedback loop that improves the next loop.

A good example of a flywheel in business is where a company collectus and utilizes user analytics such that their improvement of the product means more people use the product, which creates more data for what’s working, which creates a better product, which drives morepeople to use the product, etc.

The friend flywheel is similar. It’s a positive feedback loop where you root for your friends, building them up and sharing info with them which creates good will and levels them up, and now they’re slightly more successful and informed and they often share info and deals back with you due to feeling closer with you. Then you level up and get access to more info and better deals and you share with them, and the flywheel keeps going.

One Caveat

Obviously the flywheel only works if your friends reciprocate.

Alex Hormozi says “The best way to change your life is to change your friends.” You don’t have to do this, but if you’re reading this and the quote resonates with you, maybe you should consider it.

Look for friends who aren’t threatened by your success. I talk about spotting friend who will “root for you” in a second.

A caveat of the caveat

Even if you root for the “wrong” friends, it’s still the best way to live. Life is better not feeling jealous. You can sleep so much easier at night by genuinely being happy for your friends, even if they’re a bit jealous of you.

Do you have a hypeman?

Visualize something for me.

You just shipped a side‑project that lands on the front page of Hacker News. Who’s the first person you want to tell?

That person is your hypeman—the friend who celebrates your victories like it’s their own milestone. No one comes to mind? Maybe you haven’t really trusted anyone with your wins yet. Let’s identify who you could do that with.

How to Spot Friends Who Root For You

Here’s a list of things to look for that indicate a person might be a great friend:

People who speak honest truth to your face and praise you behind your back.
People who consistently congratulate you when good things happen.
People who like and share your stuff.
People who intro you to people who might be able to help you.
People who give you different ways to improve your product/brand/life.
People whose default is “Let’s work on this together!”
People who give meaningful feedback on your projects.
People who say “We did it!” even when they did the majority of the work.

How to Be a Hypeman

This is a two way street. You can’t expect your friends to root for you if you don’t root for them. Here’s how you can do that:

Be quick to praise: Train your first instinct to praise.
Be tactfully honest: Good people value constructive criticism deeply.
Expand their vision – “That’s awesome… and imagine if you… and have you seen this…?”
Signal‑Boost – Shares and like their stuff all the time and ask them to tell you when they post.

Closing

Rooting for your friends is the best way to live. I pray you now believe that.

So yeah, go forth, reject jealousy, and root for your friends! This is a message a lot of people need to hear, so I’d love if you shared it.

- Joseph “rez0” Thacker

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