Before you read a single line more, I will give the usual but still important caveats – this blog is my opinion, based on my experiences. Take it with a big ol’ grain of salt. Then again, you’re welcome to leave your thoughts in the comments below.

OK, with that out of the way, let me set the stage. A friend who I’ve been helping find a new job recently asked me,

“When an employer asks what’s your desired salary, what’s the best approach?”

I could have sworn I’d covered this point before now. I’ve certainly talked at length about job hunting. I came close to today’s topic when I blogged about salary negotiations.

But, for as many times as I’ve discussed this verbally, it’s never made it to the printed page. So here we go:

There will come a point in a job interview where someone is going to ask about the salary.

• if you are smart, that person won’t be you.
• if it’s a good interview, the other party won’t ask until close to the end of the process
• if it’s like 90% of the interviews I’ve ever had, it will be far, FAR too early.

Which is why I’m writing this blog. Because along with not ASKING the question, you should put off answering this question for as long as possible.

Now I recognize that absolutes – especially in the context of job interviews – are a function of privilege. Someone without the societal leverage that gender, age, ancestry confers; as well as those of visibility, connections, certifications/degrees, or accolades within the industry will have less freedom to make demands (or refuse them). So I’m going to work hard in the space below to offer both explanations and options. Explanations for why a particular strategy or choice is better overall; and options for how a person with less privilege might still be able to execute that strategy.

RULE #1: If they haven’t offered you the job, it’s not time to talk about salary.

Talking about salary early in the process is distracting and unhelpful. While there might (MIGHT!) be some validity in the old excuse that “If we aren’t in the same ballpark, we’re wasting each other’s time”, the truth is that a job is far more than a dollar amount. And that goes for BOTH sides of the hiring desk.

For the candidate, salary is important, but probably not more important than other aspects like the location, other benefits, or, I dunno, THE ACTUAL JOB RESPONSIBILITIES.

I mean, for the love of pants, how can you talk about salary if you haven’t found out whether “donate a kidney” is or isn’t one of the job requirements. Because that kind of thing is going to have a significant impact on my negotiations.

Meanwhile, for the employer, salary is important, but probably not more important than knowing whether the candidate can actually do the job, or get along with their manager, or believes in the mission of the company.

That explains WHY (in my (not so humble) opinion) it’s not helpful to talk about salary. But let’s move to HOW one can avoid that questions. Or at least give enough of an answer that the other party is satisfied enough to continue the conversation:

“RESPONSE #1: I’m looking for a salary that’s within the industry-standard range for this type of role.”

This is the answer I’ve had the most success with. It’s the one that is both honest and also leaves room to actually negotiate later.

It also forces the employer into a position that helps you: They certainly won’t say “We won’t pay the industry standard”, and they probably won’t ask you “What is that range?”

However, you need to be prepared. You need to have done the research to understand what the standard salary range is for this role in your area of the world, and you need to have multiple sources confirming that range. Because every once in a while I’ve had a company that gives me a range that is way out of line, and then it’s helpful to be able to say “According to x, y, and z sources, this is the range. Where are you getting your numbers from?”

The value of this strategy is that it pulls you out of a direct confrontation on how much you feel you are worth versus how much they feel they should pay. Instead you are talking about sources of data and what the data show. At the end of the day, the company might dig in their heels and say “Well despite all of that this is still the range we’re paying.” but you’ve established yourself who is reasonable and works from the data at hand.

RESPONSE #2: It’s difficult to give salary requirements when I don’t know anything about the BENEFITS yet.

If asked for details, you can point out that without understanding all the things that affect your bottom line, it’s difficult (or impossible) to provide a number. Specific elements that affect your salary calculation include

• insurance coverage
  • and the monthly premium deducted from your paycheck
• vacation days
• bonuses (whether they are company-wide or individual)
• stock options and RSUs
• The amount and frequency of cost of living increases
• The standard amount for yearly raises

The point in all this is that – while the company is focused on the salary – most employees are far more concerned about our take-home pay, which is affected by all the factors I list above (and more).

Example: I worked at one company that offered me a lower starting salary but also covered 100% of my insurance costs. There was no deduction from my paycheck. So even though my salary was lower, my net-pay was significantly higher than other jobs.

RESPONSE #3: It’s difficult to give salary requirements when I don’t know anything about the JOB yet.

This builds on the previous answer, but focuses on the net labor/responsibility rather than the net dollar amount. It also returns to the “industry-standard range for this role” concept.

Senior developer work deserves senior developer pay, irrespective of the job description. Meanwhile, we’re all too familiar with postings that are clearly “3 jobs in a trench coat” (something I explore in my blog about job descriptions).

Beyond the job responsibilities itself, there’s the aspects of everything from team dynamics to management structure to whether this role has existed in the company before or if you will be creating everything from the output to the processes and procedures yourself.

The point you are making with this response is that you can’t put a number of a job until you know what the job is – how much risk and effort it will entail. That’s as true for IT practitioners as it is for plumbers, doctors, or car mechanics.

This is also a helpful response if the company asks for your salary history. You need to stress that past salaries aren’t relevant because the tasks, level of responsibility, etc. could be completely different.

RESPONSE #4: Let’s focus on the job, because you might not even want me for the role!

If you’ feel comfortable, you can add “…and I don’t know enough about the job to know if it’s something I’m interested in either.”

The goal here is to re-direct the conversation to the topics that are important to get out of the way BEFORE a salary is the relevant point.

Otherwise time is being wasted discussing a theoretical number before both sides agree that there’s a fit for the work.

RULE #2: The one who gives a number first loses.

Despite this fact, HR reps, recruiters, and headhunters will all try to get you to give a number. They might even try to reassure by saying, “We just want to level set. Nothing is set in stone.”

Let me be clear: As sure as there will be another Sharknado movie, they will ABSOLUTELY throw that number back in your face if you change it.

I’d suggest you continue to return to the “salary range” strategy, because if you give a number, they are going to hold you to that number. If they continue to press, you can put it back on them by asking “What salary did you have in mind?”

Most times the recruiter gets the point and moves on.

RULE #3: It’s not privilege, it’s self-preservation

As I mentioned at the start, I recognize that some of my experiences come from a place of privilege. I’m a cis-gender, heterosexual, middle aged white dude with 37 years experience in the tech industry. I basically have all the privilege a human body can hold.

That said, I’d like to propose that what I’m suggesting in this blog is more than just a function of that privilege. It’s also based on my experiences with having NOT given these answers.

When I failed to stand up for myself, I ended up not only making less money, I found myself in jobs I didn’t want, working for organizations who took advantage of me, and in situations where I ultimately had to get out and ended up in a worse spot than when I’d started.

I recognize that everyone’s experiences and life pressures are different. Never the less, I’d like to share some of my observations here. Take them for what they’re worth to you.

If the salary is a sticking point, it’s a red flag. It indicates that your cost to them is the single most important element of your employment. That is not likely to change once you start the job. They will continually look for ways to increase your output while reducing your compensation.

If they are so miopically focused on salary that they would pass on a candidate with the skills and experience to do the job, then that’s a huge tell on their part.

Many of the recruiters I’ve spoken to who can’t get past the salary have been hiding the fact that there isn’t really a job in the first place. Or that YOU are the product – meaning they are collecting a database of people to sell to other organizations, rather than having a database of jobs and working to match people to them.

A variation of this is when they don’t know what they want, so they interview a whole mess of different people hoping “they’ll know it when they see it.” The problem is that the “it” they are looking for is “the right price”, not the “the right candidate.”

Some recruiters are able to move forward in the conversation, but they choose not to because this is a power trip for them.

In all of the above scenarios, the likelihood of succeeding in that role, for that company, is low.

RULE #4: Take Care of Yourself

If you’re in a position where you can’t be picky, don’t be picky. Take the job. But my advice in that case is to keep looking, because this has a high likelihood of being a bad fit.

In addition, start thinking now about how you’ll explain this in the future. Let’s say you take the job, and keep looking. What are you going to say to the next interviewer when they ask why you’re looking to leave? I’ve already written about how this, more than any other question, could lose you the job. Be prepared.

RULE #5: If It’s Not Going to Work, Have Fun

Let’s say you’re in a lose-lose situation. They aren’t going to move past the salary conversation, and you know with absolute certainty that you aren’t going to take the job.

In that moment, recognize that you truly have nothing to lose. Use this moment for research. What happens if you fully stand up for yourself? What happens if you push back?

In that case, I’d like to provide one of my favorite snarky responses, straight from my friend Corey Quinn.

RESPONSE #5: I’m looking for $80 million and a company helicopter.

In Summary:

The correct answer to the question

“When an employer asks what’s your desired salary, what’s the best approach?”

is

“As little as you can possibly manage, without ruining your prospects of getting the job.”